my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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