I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
we made out on top of his cat.
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Randomize
