That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
