If i come over, it means nothing
PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
