I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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