i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Randomize
