Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
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Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
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your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
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