and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Randomize
