Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize
