I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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