Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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