oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Randomize
