just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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