okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
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