Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
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