I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
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