Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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