we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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