I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize
