I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Randomize
