do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
We have started to decorate penises.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
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