Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
Randomize
