Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
