Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
Randomize
