am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
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