Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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