There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
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