wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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