So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
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