I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
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