Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
Fuck appropriateness.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
I need a beard to bite.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
Randomize
