you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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