Don't you send me to vm
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize