What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
I want to have your abortion
I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
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