You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
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