I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
Randomize
