Screwed.edu
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Randomize
