She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
Heybabeimwearingurpanties
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Randomize
