I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
