We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
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