brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
Randomize
