Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
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