I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
It's like God shit irony all over that family
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
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