You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
