so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
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