i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
The air taste purple.
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