i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
Dignity is for republicans.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
