So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
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