Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize