community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
