Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
