You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Randomize
