That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
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