we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
Randomize
