I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
Randomize
