Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
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