The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
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