and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
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