He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
birth control should be required to get into college
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
Randomize
