I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
