i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
